If your child refuses contact with their other parent

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Contact factsheet. December 2007.

Sometimes children may refuse to agree to the contact arrangements being made for them. There may be different reasons for their refusal. Your child may feel let down by their other parent, especially if they blame them for leaving the family or if a previous contact visit hasn't gone to plan. In this situation, you may want to talk to your child and allow them to discuss how they feel. Although it is generally good for children to have contact with their other parent, you should also give your child time to come to terms with the new family situation.

A child may also refuse contact as a response to messages they have received from you about the other parent or because they don't want to be disloyal or let you down. Again, let your child talk about their feelings and take steps to ensure that you do not do or say anything that may make your child think you are hurt or upset about their relationship with the other parent.

There may be other reasons for your child not wanting contact with their other parent, which are not always obvious. These might include previous emotional or physical abuse, which you were not aware of, or the child not feeling safe when having contact. If this is the case, you will need to talk to a solicitor about applying to the court for an order to limit or prevent contact. For information about solicitors and help with legal costs, ask for our factsheet Getting legal help.

Next page: What happens if I refuse to allow contact to take place?

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