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Kate Fawkes
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Having spent the last five years as a single parent, desperately trying to juggle one highly demanding job with the needs of two highly demanding children, I was delighted to be asked to become an Ambassador for One Parent Families.
But, I secretly felt that I was doing such a terrible job of both work and kids that acceptance of the role might be fraudulent! Would they find out and strip me of my metaphorical chains of office?
And then I began to realise that many lone parents feel they are woefully inadequate some of the time. I wasn't alone in my anxieties. And that, of course, is the point.
You have to work so hard to keep up a brave face in the workplace, that you find it hard to admit that you need help. 'Yes, thanks, kids are great, everything's just terrific', you'll say. Even though, just that morning you've discovered your childminder is leaving the area, your son is being tested for dyslexia and the school has just called to say your daughter's just thrown up over her teacher. You knew she wasn't feeling great this morning, but you had an important meeting and guiltily cajoled her through the school gates nonetheless. So what do you do? You grab the desk, woozily walk to the ladies and loudly pretend to be sick yourself. 'Flu' you mutter as you stagger dramatically past your male colleagues. Then you remember you've just supposedly thrown up. 'I mean, - food poisoning - Uh both.' It's too late for questions, you're out the door.
You feel stupid. You're a grown up and you do a good job, so why do you have to lie? I've tried telling the truth and sadly lying in such circumstances is a damn sight easier. And much more effective.
In my case the juggling ultimately got too much for me and I ended up quitting my job. Bob the Builder would have to fare without me. (He seems to have survived!) I am now working from home, consulting on a few projects, and feeling a lot happier. But I still lie awake at night worrying about them. But maybe that's just a parent's lot.
Being a single parent can be such a lonely and isolating job that an organisation offering both practical help and a feeling of solidarity had to be a great cause to support. It's great to know that there is someone there at the end of a phone to help.
And it's great to know that there is someone out there pounding up and down Whitehall, lobbying the Government for our voices to be heard.
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